I haven’t made a blog post in quite a while but nothing much has happened around here. I’ve been wondering what I could write about and this morning I decided I should write about a few things but mainly about what November 17th means to me and my family.
As most of you who read this blog know I used to drink quite a bit. That’s an understatement. I used to drink a LOT. I always knew I was an alcoholic but I kept telling myself I was a “functioning alcoholic” because I was able to keep a job.
Of course I kept ignoring the fact my 2nd marriage ended because of my drinking and I was fast approaching my 3rd ended marriage and then something happened that made me realize I needed to change my life.
That thing was a DUI in August of 2003.
The really sad part of this story is that I believed I was innocent and actually took it to trial. Predictably, and thankfully, I lost the trial but the judge was smart enough to know that I needed help and sentenced me to a treatment center and 100 AA meetings. I am a firm believer that he and the people who helped me during that time saved my life. I believe if I had just pleaded guilty that I wouldn’t have had the epiphany that losing a trial caused.
The day I lost the trial and the day I stopped drinking was November 17th, 2003.
I spent a few months going to a treatment center and about 100 days going to AA meeting and during that time I came to realize that many of the bad things in my life were caused by my drinking.
I also came to realize that the woman I was married to was a saint. Thankfully she didn’t leave me although looking back I wonder why.
Last night I went to an AA meeting and took a cake for my 8th birthday. As I told my story to the group it hit me that I really wasn’t embarrassed about being an alcoholic anymore and this morning when I decided to write a blog post I decided it was time to share this publicly.
The last 8 years have been so much better than the previous 30 that I spent half in a fog.
I apologize to everyone that I hurt during that time. I wish that I had been able to see what I was earlier but I can’t change that, I can only learn from it.
Today I have no compulsion to drink. I thank my higher power for that. Today I can think much more clearly and I try to treat people better. I still have a long way to go but I’m taking it one day at a time.